Are YOU on Your List This Holiday Season? Two simple self-care tips

A week into December already! If it’s not yet, I bet your December calendar is filling up fast. If you’re like me, you have a variety of lists started…the Christmas card list, the presents list, the Christmas cookie list, the grocery list of what to buy in order to make the Christmas cookies on that list, etc. But let me ask you this: Are YOU on your list?

I know, I know. So many things you have to do. So many people to take care of. Enough already! Stop being a martyr about the holidays and include you on your list. How? I’m glad you asked. I have two simple tips for you:

  1. Review your “have to” items, and
  2. Schedule some “me time.”

Tip #1, Review your “have to” items, actually has two steps. First, review all of the things on your to do lists and determine if they are “have to” items or “want to” items. If they are “want to” items, keep them. Be realistic though. If you want to go to 5 tree trimmings, 4 Christmas parades, 3 cookie exchanges, 2 different Christmas Eve services, and drive to Pittsburgh for a par-tee, then you are setting yourself up for failure. Instead, make sure your “want to” list contains the items that make the holidays special to you; the things that if you don’t do them you’ll be feeling really regretful on January 2.

The second part of Tip #1 is to get rid of your “have to” items. Hear me out. I think part of our self-imposed holiday stress comes from telling ourselves we have to do certain things. Telling yourself you have to do something just makes it unpleasant and creates a negative mindset. Instead, what if you changed all of those items to “want to” items? Here’s an example: You are currently telling yourself and probably others you talk to that you have to go to your office holiday party, at least make an appearance. Why did this make your “have to” list in the first place? Is it because it could be beneficial to your success with the company? Isn’t being a success with your company something you want? Or maybe you at least want to socialize a little with some of your close peers or people you appreciate working with all year long? So now that you’ve identified some “want to” in that item, start telling yourself and others that you want to go to your office holiday party. Now you are creating a positive mindset and looking forward to some part of that party which creates less stress. Apply to an item on your own list. Repeat until you have a list of “want to” items.

Tip #2, Schedule some “me time,” is self-explanatory. Stop being a holiday martyr. Yes, your friends and family are thrilled to be the beneficiaries of your labor, but not when they know you’re killing yourself all month to do it. They don’t love you for your cookies; they want to spend time celebrating with you! That won’t happen if you’re so tired by Christmas Eve that you’re curled up in a little ball sleeping in some corner while they are all full of energy and celebrating.

Try this. Why not combine some “me time” with some “want to” items? If you want to celebrate another year of friendship and be festive with your besties, go out somewhere low key for an evening. It’s low stress and you don’t have to cook or clean your house because you’re not hosting! Or, consider this: there are so many great deals on spa and fitness activities right now. It’s okay to snag yourself a spa gift card and get a massage or facial this month or to buy a yoga class package…whatever sounds like good “me time” to you.

The holidays are a special time and we want to pack in as much celebration and enjoyment as we possibly can in a month’s time. Just don’t do it at the expense of your sanity. Make sure you are also on your holiday list and practice keeping that positive mindset. Happy holidays!

Follow me on Instagram or Facebook for more positive mindset messages!

Your Development Resource on Instagram

Your Development Resource on Facebook

I’m Unworthy

I was scrolling through the Instagram feed last night when I read a post that said basically if you feel unworthy, you will never succeed.

Ponder that point.

If we are presented with the most amazing opportunity, but we don’t feel like we deserve it or are good enough for it, how can we possibly succeed? If we even accept the opportunity, we are destined to fail. We will believe the negative messages in our heads and self-sabotage our success.

But here’s the thing that really hit me. In response to that Instagram post, a woman wrote, “That’s me. UNWORTHY.” I read that and my heart ached for her. I don’t know this woman, so of course I don’t know what has happened in her life that would make her feel unworthy, but I know for certain that’s a false statement.

I couldn’t just scroll on without responding. I wrote to her that the mind believes whatever we repeatedly tell it; start saying, “I am worthy.”

I kept thinking about that word “unworthy” and how much weight it must add to a person’s mind if that’s really what she believes. Can you imagine the emotional and physical drain that word and belief must create?

Even after I went to bed last night, I kept thinking about it. What would I really want to say if I was face to face with this woman? If I had a chance to maybe impact her thoughts and then her life? I’d say, “You are SO worthy! The fact that you exist makes you worthy. The fact that you were created was no accident. When you were born, there was a plan for your life, even if you don’t know what it is. You have a purpose, and God/the Universe/or whatever higher power you believe in wants you to succeed. Wants you to live a meaningful, abundant life. You are worthy and that higher power wants you to start acting like it.”

Obviously, one little pep talk is not enough to change a person’s deep-seated self-perception. A person who feels unworthy needs at minimum a good coach and support system and (depending on the life events that got the person to this feeling) possibly a licensed therapist to work through previous years of harm and negativity.

But here’s my hope: it’s that just maybe the woman who read that someone out there thinks she IS worthy is enough to give her pause. Maybe someone else echoes my response and she begins to think, “Hey, maybe there’s something to this. Maybe I should…get some help, find a support group, try saying positive affirmation, etc.

And my hope is that if YOU are reading THIS post and feeling unworthy, you realize that YOU are WORTHY.

Find more at:

Your Development Resource on Instagram

Your Development Resource on Facebook

Pulling Out of the Downward Spiral

Does this ever happen to you…the downward spiral of negative thoughts? I was getting ready this morning and what started off with “I have nothing to wear” became “nothing looks right on me because I’m old and fat and I’m not going to run well in this 4-miler this weekend and I need new shoes and I’m so sick of wearing the same things and, and, and…”

I know, I know…I’m the one coaching positive thinking, so why am I telling you this? Because I’m human. I want you to know that I understand how our minds play these tricks on ALL of us at some point. And I want you to know that you have the power to turn it around before it gets out of hand.

Ask yourself what’s really happening. In my case, I was getting dressed to go to a networking lunch group I’d not been to before. When things get stressful, your mind can throw up obstacles to see how much you really want it. In my case, I was able to recognize that my negative thoughts were spiraling and I had to do a reality check.

In reality, I look no different today than I did yesterday and I was happy yesterday. In reality, all my clothes fit. In reality, the event I’m running in this weekend has nothing to do with today.

Had I not checked my thoughts, I may have been so upset that I skipped the networking lunch, which ended up being two hours very well spent that I would have missed! So, long story to say, your mind is tricky. Get on top of the first negative thought when it happens. Challenge it. Figure out what you’re really feeling and why. Do a reality check. Control your mind so it doesn’t control you!

Find more at:

Your Development Resource on Instagram

Your Development Resource on Facebook

Learning to be a Badass

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. Yep, that pretty much sums up the book. Ok, not really. But it does set the tone for this awesomely inspiring book by Jen Sincero. It’s inspiring because she doesn’t write, “Hey, I found the key to being successful. Look at my life now;” she actually tells you how she changed her thoughts and behaviors and believes that you can do it too. But you have to really believe that you can change your thoughts and therefore change your life.

Are you familiar with the Law of Attraction? Because You Are a Badass is basically Jen Sincero using her own life events to demonstrate and explain how to use the Law of Attraction to live the life of your dreams. You may have read some other books about the Law of Attraction or positive thinking that have left you ready for a nap, but I guarantee this book is different! I was reading it on a plane and flagging so many pages that I ran out of little sticky flags and had to just start folding pages over to mark them. Sincero’s writing style will get you fired up! As I was reading, I had so many new ideas that I couldn’t write fast enough to keep up! I was so excited to put what I was reading and thinking into action as soon as I stepped off the plane!

If you are new to the Law of Attraction, here’s one of the concepts Sincero explains really well in her book: the frequency or vibration you put out into the universe is what is returned to you. In other words, if you are living at a high frequency, expecting great things to happen for you and seeing the good in everything, then the universe (God, Source Energy, whatever you call your higher power) returns good things to you. If you have a low frequency of expecting nothing to go your way, then the universe returns that negativity to you. “The Universe will match whatever vibration you put out…Which is why when you’re vibrating at a high frequency, awesome things seem to flow to you effortlessly and you seem to stumble over the perfect people and opportunities all the time (and vice versa)” (p. 32).

To be clear, just thinking positive thoughts and expecting good things to happen is not enough. You must also take action to move you into the direction of receiving what you want to attract. “The trick is to have both parts – energy and action – working in unison…Once in a while you may get lucky doing one without the other, but if you can get clear on what you truly want…believe that it is available to you regardless of your present circumstances by staying connected to Source Energy and keeping your frequency high, and take decisive action , you will eventually succeed” (p. 33).

Did you catch that “get very clear on what you truly want” part? What’s your passion or gift that you want to be sharing with the world? “Getting clear about what your unique purpose is can be the difference between living a happy, fulfilled life of abundance, choice, and expansiveness or living in the restrictive veal pen of your own indecision and tired old excuses” (p.71). Sincero goes on to offer some tips on how to get clear on your calling as well.

The Law of Attraction is so dependent on your thoughts and your willingness to believe. Sincero writes on page 95, “You have to change your thinking first, and then the evidence appears. Our big mistake is that we do it the other way around. We demand to see the evidence before we believe it to be true.” You have to believe that you live in an abundant universe and that what you truly want already exists out there and is available to you.

I highly recommend You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life to anyone who is interested in the Law of Attraction, anyone who is ready to change their ways of thinking, and/or anyone who is just tired of doing the same things and (of course) not getting different results. Jen Sincero offers not only stories and examples but also tips, exercises, and resources to apply to your own life.  The last tip of each chapter is a “Love Yourself” tip. I won’t give them all away, but I’ll close with a few examples:

  • p. 62 “Love yourself. Because it’s the Holy Grail of happiness.”
  • p. 120 “Love yourself. Be grateful for all you are and all that you’re becoming.”
  • p. 165 “Love yourself. You’re doing an awesome job.”
  • And of course, p. 244 “Love yourself. You are a badass.”

Already read You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life? What did you think? I’d love to read your comments too!

Find more at:

Your Development Resource on Instagram

Your Development Resource on Facebook

How Do You Eat an Elephant?

You’ve probably heard this before: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. This happens to be one of my favorite sayings. I use it often to calm down and remind myself that any large project is possible when broken down into smaller pieces.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you take on a big task. And then you may fall victim to thoughts like, “Why did I agree to do this?” or “This is impossible!” First of all, worrying and engaging in negative self-talk are huge wastes of time and energy. Instead, take a moment to acknowledge you’re feeling worried, then take control of the situation by creating a plan.

Write down your plan on paper so it is not running on a continual loop in your head. You can make a detailed list of numbered steps, create a process map, or any method that gets your thoughts organized on paper. From there, you can take each step and add details such as who can help and what resources are available. (This works for planning a wedding, building a house, work projects, everything.) Add a target completion date for each step to hold yourself accountable. Move forward by completing one step at a time.

Tackling a seemingly insurmountable task is really an opportunity to develop mental and emotional endurance. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, revisit your plan and remind yourself you’re going to eat this elephant…one bite at a time!

Find more at:

Your Development Resource on Instagram

Your Development Resource on Facebook

10 Tricks and Tips to Find Your Positive Groove

Whether you are generally a positive person who gets in the occasional negative funk or you are generally a negative person but you would like to experience the power of positivity, here are 10 of my favorite tricks and tips that can help you find your positive groove.

  1. Dress better than you feel. Do something with your hair. Put on a little makeup. This works for two reasons: You’re doing something for you and for the rest of the day when you see your reflection, you will see this better version of yourself.
  2. Exercise. Again, you’re doing something to take care of you, but exercise also creates feel good endorphins. Even a 10 minute walk can boost your mood.
  3. Get outdoors. Get some fresh air, clear your head, and can be combined with tip #2!
  4. Get enough sleep. The average recommended amount of sleep is 7-8 hours per night. You need that in order to repair and recharge from the day’s events.
  5. Practice gratitude. Once a day, find 5 things that you are grateful for.
  6. Make goals and accomplish them. Who doesn’t like to feel accomplished? Make a realistic to do list and feel the joy of crossing off each item as you complete it!
  7. Smile more. Others will smile back which makes you feel even more positive. 🙂
  8. Compliment someone. Brightening up someone else’s day is a win-win.
  9. Take actions on problems. If your negative funk is due to a problem that keeps plaguing your mind, take some action towards a solution. Staying in your head about it is a powerless place to be; taking action gives you your power back.
  10. Give hugs. Hug your family. Hug your friend. Hug your pet. It gets your feel good oxytocin flowing…for both you and your hug recipient!

Let me know what you think! Which tip works for you or maybe you can share a tip I don’t have on my ever-growing list yet. Thanks for reading and have a positively amazing day!

What If You Loved Yourself As You Are?

Have you seen Amy Schumer’s movie, I Feel Pretty, yet? If you have, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. If you haven’t, don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for you here.

I will just tell you that I watched it last night and want to recommend it to the following people:

1. Anyone who ever looks in the mirror or photos of themselves and only focuses on the negatives, or

2. Anyone who ever compares themselves to others and feels “less than”

Awhile ago, it seemed like the question “What would you do if you weren’t afraid to fail?” was the big popular question. After watching this movie, I’m thinking “What would you do if you loved yourself exactly as you are in this moment?” Would you apply for the job you want instead of talking yourself out of it because you only meet 8 out of the 10 qualities listed? Would you throw on your bikini and be in the pictures with your friends and family instead of excluding yourself from those captured memories by always being the one taking the pictures? Would you take a class you’ve been interested in and have faith that you’re capable enough to do well in it instead of making excuses for why you can’t even try?

Here’s the thing…you can love yourself as you are in this moment AND keep challenging yourself to be an even better version of yourself each day. Challenge yourself because you love yourself and want to keep giving to yourself; not because you’re unhappy with yourself and want to completely change into someone else. For example, go to the gym because you love yourself and want to be healthy; don’t go to the gym because you hate everything about the way you look and want to punish yourself. See the difference? It’s really all in re-framing your thoughts…changing them into positive statements and objectives instead of negatives. Another example is to look in the mirror and focus on your favorite feature. Only focus on the favorites, not what you hate, want to change, or what “needs work.” Again, it’s a subtle change and definitely takes practice, but it’s a start!

Please ponder the thoughts above and consider watching I Feel Pretty. And then share your thoughts with me in the comments. I’d love to hear them!