Two Takeaways from Bohemian Rhapsody

Have you seen the Bohemian Rhapsody movie yet? If not, I highly recommend seeing it, especially while it’s still in theaters so you can get the big screen and full sound of the music. Writing about a “rockumentary” of Queen and Freddie Mercury might seem off topic for my blog about personal and professional development. I promise Bohemian Rhapsody fits right in.

I saw the movie a couple nights ago. While driving home from the theater, processing what I’d just learned about the life of Freddie Mercury, two themes that are totally in the scope of personal development stood out:

1. The importance of knowing and living your purpose despite people trying to deter you in the beginning, and

2. Loving your true, authentic self.

In Freddie’s case (at least the time frame we see in the film), Freddie knew his gift was music. He was passionate about music, and he knew his purpose was to perform. I won’t spoil any of the movie, so I’ll just say that in one really bleak scene he says, “I’m a performer,” with an air of “of course I’ll perform, sillies, nothing could stop me from performing!” That line struck me. “I’m a performer” is just one little line in this movie, but it is exactly what I write about…knowing your purpose! Know it. Own it. Don’t let anything get in the way of it.

However, the piece that Freddie was missing was accepting and loving himself as he was made. He spent most of his life trying to push down his feelings of not fitting in and numbing his pain with alcohol, drugs, and sex. The movie reveals that once he faced and accepted his truths, he was able to be happy and have genuine relationships with his partner, family, and friends.

I believe very much in the value of living your purpose and loving who your Creator made you to be. Bohemian Rhapsody affected me so strongly because I wasn’t expecting these two foundational personal development tenets to appear in this film about a rock star. I love that these themes were developed in this film and that we can examine them and apply the lessons to our own lives.

If you’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the film and how these personal development themes came across to you. Thanks for reading!

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Year of Yes

If this is the first time you’ve visited my blog, welcome! And let me catch you up. I LOVE the topic of saying yes to life. (If you haven’t already, please check out my other saying yes related posts such as Say Yes and If Not Now, When?) I also happen to have loved the show Scandal. So, when I discovered that Shonda Rhimes, creator of Scandal, had written a book about saying yes, of course I had to read it!

Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person, by Shonda Rhimes, is a different kind of “say yes” book than A Place of Yes, by Bethenny Frankel, which I wrote about in an earlier blog post (A Refresher on Coming From a Place of Yes.) Whereas A Place of Yes is a mix of Bethenny Frankel’s life story and lessons on how to improve your life based on her advice, Year of Yes keeps to the narrative of Shonda Rhimes’ personal story, challenges and victories, as she completed the obligation she made to herself to say yes for one year. (Spoiler alert: She changed so much for the better in that one year that the “year of yes” has been extended indefinitely.)

By committing to saying yes, Rhimes was forced to face fears (such as being front and center instead of behind the scenes, giving speeches and making tv appearances), face her health (such as admitting she pushed down unpleasant emotions and buried them with food in an attempt to numb herself), and face truths (such as finding that people she loved were actually toxic in her life.)

Rhimes also writes some things I LOVE about being a mother and being YOU at the same time. She defends that a mother who brings store-bought treats to the school function and the mother who brings homemade treats to the school function are equals. On page 109, she writes, “Perhaps you think that it is important to your child’s personal growth to bake goods in your home. More power to you, my sister. I will defend your right to home-bake whatever you damn well want to home-bake. But I will take off my earrings and ask someone to hold my purse for the verbal beat-down we will need to engage in if you try to tell me that I must define my motherhood in the same terms as yours.” She continues, “I am not telling you to do it that way. You go bake your ass off. But we all have to acknowledge that our way is not the way.”

Other standout points for me in her book are about how difficult it is for her (and many women) to take a compliment or accept her professional achievements. She writes about how hard it is to accept and own our beauty and greatness. We worry about what others will think. On page 186, she admits, “I am scared people will think I like myself too much.”

We’re taught to be humble and modest. Those are good qualities to possess, but we’ve taken it too far when we diminish our accomplishments and talents and can no longer fathom that a compliment given to us can be true. Rhimes writes that she used to answer interview questions about her success by saying she has just been lucky. Now she answers, “Lucky implies I didn’t do anything. Lucky implies something was given to me. Lucky implies that I was handed something I did not earn, that I did not work hard for. Gentle reader, my you never be lucky. I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard. Don’t call me lucky. Call me a badass (p.180-181).

Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person is not a “how to” book, but rather a “what I learned” book. And the overall takeaway from Year of Yes is how saying yes to your life, getting out of your comfort zone, getting out of your numbness, facing your fears and experiencing the resulting power and freedom after doing so, is how you find your true, authentic self. It’s how you develop into the best version of yourself, which you were always meant to be.

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