Another Badass Book

Back in October, I wrote Learning to be a Badass, a post about Jen Sincero’s book, You Are a Badass. Well today I have another badass Jen Sincero book to share with you: You Are a Badass at Making Money. I could make this a very short post and just say, “Trust me. Read this book. It’s awesome!” But that feels kind of lazy, and if you’re going to invest your time in reading a book I suggest, you probably want to know why I’m recommending it.

Similarly to You Are a Badass, You Are a Badass at Making Money is a book in which Sincero describes how she applied the Law of Attraction to improve her life, specifically, her financial life. But it’s not just about the Law of Attraction. Sincero explores how our thoughts and beliefs about having money impact our success.

After reading just the Introduction (I’m talkin’ only 10 pages in!), I noted the following:

We have been taught to work hard, even if we don’t want to be doing what we’re doing; basically, we’ve been taught to settle for a mediocre life. The real key to success is not to work harder at the jobs we’re settling for, but to…

  • “Listen to the hollerings of your heart instead of your doubts and fears” (p. 9).
  • “Not only admit to desiring, and commit to creating, wealth, but most important, you must allow yourself to do so” (p. 9).
  • Agree to getting “really really really really uncomfortable. Over and over again” (p. 9).

If we apply the Law of Attraction, then we believe the resources we need to create the lives of our dreams are already out there waiting on us to claim them. For some, beliefs about money are huge obstacles though. Sincero lists negative money beliefs such as we feel shallow if we want money, we feel undeserving or not special enough to make a lot of money, or that making money is hard. She then offers really insightful thoughts to counter those negative beliefs:

  • “You living your fullest life and making all the money required to do so doesn’t take anything away from anyone else any more than you refusing a ham sandwich because someone, somewhere, is starving helps them” (p. 19).
  • “Understand that your gifts, talents, and desires were given to you because you are meant to thrive and share your youness with the world as only you can” (p. 24).
  • If you believe making money is difficult, then it is. (Many, many sections on the Law of Attraction and being mindful of what thoughts you send out into the universe.)

One of the Law of Attraction concepts is that what you focus on, you create more of. Sincero explains how this applies to your financial situation. If you have a scarcity mindset, then you are always worrying that you don’t have enough. So guess what…you’ll never have enough. Instead, be grateful for what you have, give freely to help others, and focus on the abundance in your life. And then, what will you attract into your life? That’s right…abundance!

To wrap it up, if you are interested in improving your relationship with money and your financial situation, read You Are a Badass at Making Money. Jen Sincero offers tips and money thoughts/mantras at the end of each chapter, and she sprinkles in short quotable nuggets of insight throughout. There are few books that I want to read more than once, but this is one of them. There’s so much to absorb and practice!

If you’ve read the book, please share your thoughts in the comments too!

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Year of Yes

If this is the first time you’ve visited my blog, welcome! And let me catch you up. I LOVE the topic of saying yes to life. (If you haven’t already, please check out my other saying yes related posts such as Say Yes and If Not Now, When?) I also happen to have loved the show Scandal. So, when I discovered that Shonda Rhimes, creator of Scandal, had written a book about saying yes, of course I had to read it!

Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person, by Shonda Rhimes, is a different kind of “say yes” book than A Place of Yes, by Bethenny Frankel, which I wrote about in an earlier blog post (A Refresher on Coming From a Place of Yes.) Whereas A Place of Yes is a mix of Bethenny Frankel’s life story and lessons on how to improve your life based on her advice, Year of Yes keeps to the narrative of Shonda Rhimes’ personal story, challenges and victories, as she completed the obligation she made to herself to say yes for one year. (Spoiler alert: She changed so much for the better in that one year that the “year of yes” has been extended indefinitely.)

By committing to saying yes, Rhimes was forced to face fears (such as being front and center instead of behind the scenes, giving speeches and making tv appearances), face her health (such as admitting she pushed down unpleasant emotions and buried them with food in an attempt to numb herself), and face truths (such as finding that people she loved were actually toxic in her life.)

Rhimes also writes some things I LOVE about being a mother and being YOU at the same time. She defends that a mother who brings store-bought treats to the school function and the mother who brings homemade treats to the school function are equals. On page 109, she writes, “Perhaps you think that it is important to your child’s personal growth to bake goods in your home. More power to you, my sister. I will defend your right to home-bake whatever you damn well want to home-bake. But I will take off my earrings and ask someone to hold my purse for the verbal beat-down we will need to engage in if you try to tell me that I must define my motherhood in the same terms as yours.” She continues, “I am not telling you to do it that way. You go bake your ass off. But we all have to acknowledge that our way is not the way.”

Other standout points for me in her book are about how difficult it is for her (and many women) to take a compliment or accept her professional achievements. She writes about how hard it is to accept and own our beauty and greatness. We worry about what others will think. On page 186, she admits, “I am scared people will think I like myself too much.”

We’re taught to be humble and modest. Those are good qualities to possess, but we’ve taken it too far when we diminish our accomplishments and talents and can no longer fathom that a compliment given to us can be true. Rhimes writes that she used to answer interview questions about her success by saying she has just been lucky. Now she answers, “Lucky implies I didn’t do anything. Lucky implies something was given to me. Lucky implies that I was handed something I did not earn, that I did not work hard for. Gentle reader, my you never be lucky. I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard. Don’t call me lucky. Call me a badass (p.180-181).

Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person is not a “how to” book, but rather a “what I learned” book. And the overall takeaway from Year of Yes is how saying yes to your life, getting out of your comfort zone, getting out of your numbness, facing your fears and experiencing the resulting power and freedom after doing so, is how you find your true, authentic self. It’s how you develop into the best version of yourself, which you were always meant to be.

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Learning to be a Badass

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. Yep, that pretty much sums up the book. Ok, not really. But it does set the tone for this awesomely inspiring book by Jen Sincero. It’s inspiring because she doesn’t write, “Hey, I found the key to being successful. Look at my life now;” she actually tells you how she changed her thoughts and behaviors and believes that you can do it too. But you have to really believe that you can change your thoughts and therefore change your life.

Are you familiar with the Law of Attraction? Because You Are a Badass is basically Jen Sincero using her own life events to demonstrate and explain how to use the Law of Attraction to live the life of your dreams. You may have read some other books about the Law of Attraction or positive thinking that have left you ready for a nap, but I guarantee this book is different! I was reading it on a plane and flagging so many pages that I ran out of little sticky flags and had to just start folding pages over to mark them. Sincero’s writing style will get you fired up! As I was reading, I had so many new ideas that I couldn’t write fast enough to keep up! I was so excited to put what I was reading and thinking into action as soon as I stepped off the plane!

If you are new to the Law of Attraction, here’s one of the concepts Sincero explains really well in her book: the frequency or vibration you put out into the universe is what is returned to you. In other words, if you are living at a high frequency, expecting great things to happen for you and seeing the good in everything, then the universe (God, Source Energy, whatever you call your higher power) returns good things to you. If you have a low frequency of expecting nothing to go your way, then the universe returns that negativity to you. “The Universe will match whatever vibration you put out…Which is why when you’re vibrating at a high frequency, awesome things seem to flow to you effortlessly and you seem to stumble over the perfect people and opportunities all the time (and vice versa)” (p. 32).

To be clear, just thinking positive thoughts and expecting good things to happen is not enough. You must also take action to move you into the direction of receiving what you want to attract. “The trick is to have both parts – energy and action – working in unison…Once in a while you may get lucky doing one without the other, but if you can get clear on what you truly want…believe that it is available to you regardless of your present circumstances by staying connected to Source Energy and keeping your frequency high, and take decisive action , you will eventually succeed” (p. 33).

Did you catch that “get very clear on what you truly want” part? What’s your passion or gift that you want to be sharing with the world? “Getting clear about what your unique purpose is can be the difference between living a happy, fulfilled life of abundance, choice, and expansiveness or living in the restrictive veal pen of your own indecision and tired old excuses” (p.71). Sincero goes on to offer some tips on how to get clear on your calling as well.

The Law of Attraction is so dependent on your thoughts and your willingness to believe. Sincero writes on page 95, “You have to change your thinking first, and then the evidence appears. Our big mistake is that we do it the other way around. We demand to see the evidence before we believe it to be true.” You have to believe that you live in an abundant universe and that what you truly want already exists out there and is available to you.

I highly recommend You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life to anyone who is interested in the Law of Attraction, anyone who is ready to change their ways of thinking, and/or anyone who is just tired of doing the same things and (of course) not getting different results. Jen Sincero offers not only stories and examples but also tips, exercises, and resources to apply to your own life.  The last tip of each chapter is a “Love Yourself” tip. I won’t give them all away, but I’ll close with a few examples:

  • p. 62 “Love yourself. Because it’s the Holy Grail of happiness.”
  • p. 120 “Love yourself. Be grateful for all you are and all that you’re becoming.”
  • p. 165 “Love yourself. You’re doing an awesome job.”
  • And of course, p. 244 “Love yourself. You are a badass.”

Already read You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life? What did you think? I’d love to read your comments too!

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A Refresher on Coming From a Place of Yes

Writing a bit of a “throw back Thursday” post today. Sort of. You see, I first read Bethenny Frankel’s book, A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life, when it was published in 2011. But lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about and writing about saying yes to life, so I decided to read the book again. I expected to quickly skim the book to get a refresher, but I found that the messages applied in different ways now (7 years later) than the first time I read it, and I wanted to absorb the information in this new light.

So, even though it’s an older book, I still recommend reading it. Bethenny Frankel has a personal story that is interesting to read and I am a huge believer in saying yes! (You can also reference my posts Say Yes and Sorting Out Why to Say “Yes” and Why to Say “No”.) Here are my top takeaways from reading A Place of Yes this time around:

  • “Seek what’s true for you, rather than for the people around you.” From Rule 2: Find Your Truth. “Unless you know what you want, you’ll be making decisions and living your life on somebody else’s terms.”
  • “What’s the next chapter of your life going to be about? Don’t just plan it. Start making it happen even before you’ve figured it all out…Make it happen. Make something happen.” From Rule 3: Act On It. “It all comes down to saying yes. Acting on it – making real things happen in real life – comes from a place of yes.”
  • Everything that “happens to you has the potential to open new doors.” From Rule 5: All Roads Lead to Rome. Everything happens for a reason even though you might not know how it all fits together in your life at this moment. “When you are following your truth…everything you do will eventually get you where you want to go – or someplace even better.”
  • Also from Rule 5: All Roads Lead to Rome. “You should always bet on yourself. People often bet against themselves – don’t do that. Don’t let anyone reduce you or your passion to a number. The horses picked as the favorites hardly ever win the Kentucky Derby. Odds are nothing. Instead, follow your gut, because it knows better than the odds. What if you’re a long shot? If you want something, you have to go for it. If it goes badly, you’ll learn from it. If it goes well, then you win, odds be damned.”

Those are my biggest takeaways this time around, but there is so much more to this book that might relate to you. For example, Bethenny writes about “breaking the chain” and not being the woman her mother was. She writes about lessons she’s taken from her childhood and how her childhood shaped her. She writes about her other relationships too and the lessons she’s learned about how her personal issues impacted those relationships. She also has good sections on “noise” – the chatter in your head that can throw you off your game if you let it, and a chapter on making everything you do your business. In other words, whatever you are doing, do it well. You never know who is watching or what opportunities can open up from something.

Obviously I like this book and see value in reading it (since I read it twice.) I like it and suggest it because, whether you like Bethenny Frankel and care about her story or not, Bethenny puts it all out there. She shares all of her mistakes and not just her victories. A Place of Yes is about learning who you are and owning it. It’s about always moving forward, trying something, and not being complacent about your life or giving up on your dreams. Say yes to your life!

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Girl, Wash Your Face…Girl, Read this book!

Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis…have you read it yet?  Are you following her on social media? Does she not just make you want to stand up and cheer for the power you hold to change your own life?!

If you don’t know who I’m talking about, her name is Rachel Hollis and she is the founder and CEO of TheChicSite.com.  She is also a best-selling author and motivational speaker.  In her latest book, Girl, Wash Your Face, Hollis exposes the lies she used to tell herself and shares how she worked through them to find her truth.  Some of her lies I could relate to and laugh at (mostly about motherhood). Some I could relate to and feel relieved that I am not the only one (also mostly about motherhood).  And some of her lies I could relate to and wanted to take immediate action based on her message.

Girl, Wash Your Face, is an entertaining, enjoyable read, and Hollis provides lots of motivation and inspiration without being too “heavy.”  By that I mean, she tells you her story and thoughts to ponder, but her writing style is light, humorous, and on the topics that cannot be humorous (for example, the story of her brother’s suicide) she explains what she learned from the experience and how even tragedy is not an excuse to keep you from having the life you want.  In fact, Hollis sets the tone for the book in Chapter 1 when she writes, “This is your life.  You are meant to be the hero of your own story.”  And then, “if you’re unhappy, that’s on you.”

To be clear, Hollis is not saying you have to make it on your own, nor does she deny that you may have been the victim of some hardships.  Her message is that you don’t have to remain the victim…of the hardships or of any of the lies you’ve been telling yourself for years. If fact, she seems like the kind of person you wished lived next door so that every morning you’d spring out of bed and rush outside in hopes of getting your daily pep talk before you conquer the world…or drive the kids to school, whatever.

As I previously mentioned, I found her chapters on motherhood to be EXTREMELY relatable.  I especially love when she describes that she is the mom who will buy the shirt for make-your-own-t-shirt day as opposed to the child whose mom will grow her own cotton, spin the cotton into thread and fabric, and sew the shirt herself.  Also, on the topic of motherhood, she gives the advice that moms need to learn to ask for and accept help; it is her answer for “how she does it all.”  And speaking about differences in parenting, Hollis also makes the great point that there is no one way to be a mom…or be a woman with no kids, or have a career, or be retired; it’s about what works for you and the world is better for having that kind of variety.

Two other chapters that hit home for me are Chapter 6 “The Lie: No Is the Final Answer,” and Chapter 10 “The Lie: I Should Be Further Along by Now.” Hollis’ words of experience from Chapter 6 are “I am successful because I refused to take no for an answer.  I am successful because I have never once believed my dreams were someone else’s to manage.”  Pretty powerful.  And then in Chapter 10, she reminded me that goals do not have expiration dates and that God has perfect timing.

There is so much more that I took away from Girl, Wash Your Face, but I don’t want to spoil it for you!  I definitely recommend reading the whole book and following Rachel Hollis on social media.

If you’ve read this book, I’d love to hear your thoughts too!  And if you have any recommendations for other motivational, life-changing, development-type books, please share.  Thank you!